More Unpopular Wedding Opinions from a Wedding Planer
Before we get into the nitty gritty, the post that follows is filled with my personal opinions that I have developed throughout my career working weddings and other events. You may disagree, and that is totally okay. This post is to let you know there is nothing you HAVE to do on your wedding day. If you want an open bar, have an open bar, but if you feel like you're being pressured to do anything on your wedding day and you feel conflicted, I hope this post helps you to make the right decision for you and your wedding.
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1. Skip the Garter Toss
The garter toss is a tradition at weddings that can be a bit cringey during your wedding. A garter is a piece of lingerie worn under a bride's dress. During the garter toss, the groom will remove his bride's garter with his hands or teeth and toss it into a crowd of bachelors. This tradition is something that many modern brides find to be awkward for themselves and their guests. It is seen as too sexual and embarassing in front of family members and friends. If you are a bride planning your wedding and you want to skip the garter toss, by all means skip it. You do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable on your wedding day.
2. Skip the Bouquet Toss
Similar to the garter toss, the bouquet toss is a wedding tradition that more and more modern brides are skipping at their weddings. While dancing to “Single Ladies” with your girls and tossing a bouquet at them could be fun, this tradition could embarrass some of your single friends. Going to a wedding alone while you are single can be awkward enough on its own. On top of that, standing up in front of a room full of people because you are single is even worse. Don’t single out your single friends, and skip the bouquet toss.
3. No Open Bar
Unfortunately, we live in a society that is never satisfied. If you have a full open bar with no limit, you're seen as excessive and shovnistic, but if you don’t, you're cheap. Regardless of this paradox, people love free stuff just as much as they love to party, and people expect to get free drinks when they go to weddings. Lots of couples stress over the idea of a bottomless open bar because while it may be free for your guests, it sure isn’t free for the couple. Having an open bar can be one of the biggest wedding expenses. I’ll let you in on a little secret: you don’t have to have an open bar. There are many bar options that are more affordable like cash, hosted, and prepaid. Check with your bar service or venue to see what their bar options and alcohol restrictions are to help determine what the best option is for you. Your guests should come to your wedding to celebrate you and your spouse, not to take advantage of the open bar.
4. No Kids Allowed
There is nothing sweeter than watching little flower girls and ring bearers dressed up and running down the aisle, but there also isn’t anything more annoying than those same adorable children getting restless and throwing a tantrum in the middle of your vows. There is nothing wrong with wanting your wedding celebration to be a child free zone. The key to a child free wedding is to be specific in the wording on your invitation. Rather than addressing the invitation to “The Smith Family”, address it specifically to the adults i.e, “Mr. and Mrs. John W. Smith.” You can also provide a list of party rules or guidelines on your wedding website to state that this is an adult only event.
5. Eloping is Underrated
Eloping is seriously underrated. It is the 21st century. Having a private and intimate ceremony and getting hitched is not the same as it used to be. Eloping is no longer a shameful, spur of the moment affair. Eloping simply means having an intimate wedding ceremony where you want it, when you want it. If everyone is expecting you to fork out thousands of dollars for a party you don’t want then eloping is for you. Eloping can save you so much money and stress, and can be just as special as a traditional wedding ceremony and reception. Both destination and courthouse weddings are great alternatives. Remember your wedding day is about you and your fiancé, not about your guests. Spend your day the way you want to, not the way your guests expect.
6. No Head Table
Seating charts can cause a lot of unnecessary stress when wedding planning. Deciding who can get along and sit at the same table takes so much time, and with late RSVPs, you can be changing it up until your wedding date. One of the biggest issues with seating charts is the head table. Traditionally head tables are for the bride and groom and their bridal party. This can pose a seating chart disaster if anyone in your wedding party has a date. Some couples solve this problem by having a table for bridal party plus ones. This is a quick fix but it isn’t the best option. Having a table for plus ones leaves you with an awkward table of people who don’t know each other and who want to be sitting with their partners. The best solution for this seating chart problem is to ditch the head table all together and have a sweetheart table instead. A sweetheart table is just for you and your spouse to sit and enjoy your meal. Then your bridal party can sit at other tables with their partners. This gives you and your new spouse some quality time to spend together, just the two of you to reflect on the evening, and you aren’t separating any of your friends from their dates. It’s a win-win situation with everyone happy.
7. Skip Superstition do a first look
This wedding trend has mixed views, but I am a huge supporter of the first look. There are so many pros for the first look despite the superstition. Your wedding day is about you and your partner celebrating your union. Why would you want to spend the whole morning of your big day avoiding each other? You should be savoring every moment of your wedding day together so that you remember it fondly forever. I am not a very superstitious person and I recommend a first look to all of my wedding clients because it significantly changes the logistics of your wedding day timeline. A private first look right after you get ready in the morning can be just as special, if not more, as seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle. Without all of your friends and families watching, you can be more vulnerable too. Seeing each other earlier in the day also allows you to get most of your photos done before the ceremony. There are a lot of photos to take on your wedding day and getting them done early means your wedding guests won't be waiting on you forever after the ceremony. This easy addition to your wedding timeline frees up more time for photos and more time for mingling with your guests.
If you get anything out of this post, I hope it's that your wedding day is 100% yours and that there is no one-size-fits-all wedding. Make your day your own. Your wedding should be a celebration of you and your partner. There is nothing wrong with any of these wedding traditions. If you want to participate in any of them at your wedding, go right ahead. There is something special about sticking with tradition, but if you’re looking for permission to skip tradition and expectation, this is it!
Leave a comment below! I’d love to hear how you are making your wedding your own whether you stuck to tradition or did the unexpected. Don’t miss another post from Aisle to Altar and subscribe to our weekly email newsletter below.
Cheers,
