Unpopular Wedding Opinions from a Wedding Planner

If you are planning a wedding right now, I’m sure you have plenty of people telling you what a wedding should and shouldn’t be. People keep telling you to do certain things or invite certain people. You're going to get questions like “Is there going to be an open bar?”, and comments like “You’re cheap if you don’t have an open bar”. So many people are going to be sharing their opinions and tell you what your wedding needs to be, but I’m here to tell you that they are all (Yes, even your future Mother-in- Law) wrong. Your wedding is about you and your future husband and your decision to get married. Don’t let other people tell you what it can and cannot be. Do what you want on your wedding day. It's your day!

Before we get into the nitty gritty, the post that follows is filled with my personal opinions that I have developed throughout my career working weddings and other events. You may disagree, and that is totally okay. This post is to let you know there is nothing you HAVE to do on your wedding day. If you want an open bar, have an open bar. If you feel like you're being pressured to do anything on your wedding day or you feel conflicted, I hope this post helps you to make the right decision for you and your wedding. 

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Ditch the Veil

Traditionally veils have been worn throughout history for many reasons. Veils have often been used to hide a bride's face and wrap her as a gift to her groom while representing a pure and untouched woman. Other sources state that a veil is worn to hide the bride from evil spirits. Whether you believe in evil spirits is up to you, but in my personal opinion, I think that the wedding veil is a tradition we need to ditch. Walking down the aisle is one of the biggest moments you will have in your life, not to mention all the time and money you spend getting your makeup done, don't hide your face and disrupt your vision! Show off that beautiful face, and have a clear view of your future husband waiting for you at the altar. With that being said, I do love a sentimental heirloom veil hair piece. Wear it as an accessory hair piece, but do not hide your face!

Cancel Bridesmaids

Let's be real for a second. Girl friends are hard to keep and not all relationships last. It can be stressful picking your bridal party. Deciding who your closest friends are and letting the rest of them watch from the bench. The important thing to remember is your wedding is about you and your future spouse, not about which of your friends made the cut. There are going to be so many pictures of you and your bridal party taken at your wedding, those will last forever, but those friendships might not. I know so many brides who have had huge falling outs with their maid of honor after their wedding and their maid of honor is in almost every single one of their wedding photos as a constant reminder of their failed friendship. You can eliminate this completely by opting not to have any bridesmaids at all.

No Plus-Ones

If this last year has taught us anything, it’s that you only have to invite the people you want at your wedding. Don’t feel obligated to let everyone have a plus one just so they can bring a date. In my opinion, you should know everyone at your wedding and they should all support and love you and your future spouse. If you give everyone of your single guests a plus-one, there is a good chance that you won’t know at least one third of your guests. Not to mention the nightmare that is your seating chart. When you don’t know who your guests are bringing as their plus one, it can make it increasingly hard to seat people at the right tables. While I am strongly opposed to plus ones, I am not opposed to inviting close friends and significant others. If one of your close friends has a serious partner when you are sending our invitations and you don’t mind them attending as a couple just address the invitation to both of them. This illuminates some people getting plus ones and others not. No strangers get brought to your wedding, and no one gets their feelings hurt.

Bridesmaids Do Not Have to Match

Over the decades, bridesmaids dresses have changed drastically. There is a long running joke about how terrible and hideous some bridesmaids dresses can be and it all boils down to one thing. Not all bridesmaids bodies are created equal. There is no “one-style-fits-all” dress that is going to look appealing on everyone who wears it. The 21st century should be a body positive one and bridesmaids dresses are not an exception. Many brides and bridal shops have come to realize that not all of their bridesmaids have the same body type. This has led to bridal shops offering dresses in a wide variety of styles. You can now order almost any style dress you want in any color, texture, or pattern you could want. Giving your bridesmaids more options in what style of dress they wear will allow them to feel more confident in what they are wearing. This eliminates that dread and anticipation of them having to wear a dress someone else picks for them.

No One Needs to Give you Away

If you’ve seen the movie Mama Mia, you’ve watched a young bride struggle to find someone, anyone to walk her down the aisle because she doesn’t have a father figure in her life. While I am fortunate to have a close relationship with my own father, I know that many women out there do not, and there is absolutely no issue with that. I’m telling you right now that your father does not have to walk you down the aisle, in fact no one does. If you find yourself in a position with no one to walk you down the aisle, lift your head up and take that walk down the aisle by yourself. You are the one who made the decision to get married, you need no one's permission, and you definitely do not need anyone to give you away. Be the strong independent woman you are and take that first step towards your future with your head held high. 

Ultimately, your wedding is about you and your partner. It is not your responsibility to make everyone of your guests (or even me) happy or to uphold outdated traditions. This post is filled with my own personal opinions and I hope that it helps you to take a different approach when planning your wedding to make it your own. Not every couple is alike, and not every wedding should be the same. I would love to hear some of your unpopular wedding opinions. Please share them in the comments below and subscribe to get even more wedding content sent straight to your email. 

Cheers,